How the pieces fit together

Feelings. My heart still flutters for Risa __. Was her fault, she said, for doing an acid trip years ago with a guy who was clearly in love in her - and that led to losing a friend. I still have to tell her that I don’t think it’s her fault at all, that it doesn’t always have to be her fault. Sometimes it’s the guy’s fault - so I have to be careful not to let my own feelings get in the way of hers. Because it’s not like I can just abandon her, I can’t, I love her too much for that. I’m also crying a little bit. Do trips help you listen to tears?

I’m not someone who handles rejection well. And who does? We cope with it by focusing on other things, perhaps turning a loss into something beautiful, or moving forward. The reason it hurts so much is that the raw feeling is one of powerlessness: of being exposed, naked. But I’d gladly do it again.

Making things is how I cope, or part of it. Sometimes it’s because I have something to prove. To the world, I want to show that anyone can succeed, no matter where they come from. I want to live more than one life, or at least a life in which you can do more than one thing. Craft is one part rebellion, embodied in the soul, an optimistic smuggler of future dreams…

Ok, time to go