Orange

Start of a new era, a new wallpaper. Not quite past the old eras, but moving, like a spaceship orbiting the sun along its awkward hyperbola. A mathematician with the sensibilities of a poet, she writes, and I breathe in deep. The frantic movements of the previous days – and how strange that the movements of this life are counted in days – have sorted themselves out, with the help of some background music, a new project conjured in the middle of the night, and the hovering, still greyish plan of moving to London. Still, I’m fine, all is well, and I’ve been just so busy planning these last few days that I haven’t had time to write.

The otter

Anyways, here are two songs that I find myself going back to rn:

Actually really LOVE the birds in this one

(from the end of $5 a day... after listening to a few of these while trying to find the right one, I realized it's the closeness and scratchiness of the voice that really got me. The studio-recorded one just doesn't sound as good)

It's two weeks away from moving to London (what?! Yeah, I can't believe it either). Looking for apartments, waiting perhaps a little too normally for my Tier 5 visa. Sometime I'll realize that this is special, just like I realized graduation was special two weeks after it was done. For now, I'm most of myself when I throw myself into projects like:

• Starting a screenplay of Ninefox Gambit! I want to work really hard on this for like a month, and hopefully have a finished copy by the end of the year
• Doing a new thing where I write 300 lines of Pytorch a day :P Makes me feel like everything is possible! There's a lesson here: you are what you pretend you are, even if it's hard. Especially if it's hard, I should say. I realized that by doing a little bit and having product-based milestones, I can keep myself accountable for not wasting time!

Also, somewhere during this summer, I started keeping my thoughts in Word documents, which is both good and bad: there's no record of that on the Internet, but I can hypothetically sort all the different documents by date afterwards?? That will never happen, knowing the rabbit me. On the plus side, it's kept me writing a bit more - keeping track of weird dreams, ephemeral emotions, more recurring emotions, and pep talks I give to myself. Hopefully these things will grow into stories, poems, and movie scripts :)

I make art now